Today, while about in my travels on campus, two nice young gentlemen approached me and wanted to get to know me. Great! Maybe I can make some friends!
They asked my name, and introduced themselves. Then they introduced someone else. That person was Jesus Christ.
Actually Jesus and I had met when I was little and i was baptized in his mothers bidet water or some such. I told these nice young gentlemen I had been baptized so that gets me a ticket into heaven. They still wanted to preach about my body being a vessle.... or a vesicle.... a seminal vesicle.... either way, this man was clearly questioning my own omnipotence.
Now, one of them happened to be from Africa, where life was birthed. I asked about the religions in the villages in Africa a bit. At that point, I turned to the other kind, Jesus-loving gentleman accompanying the one from Africa, and I asked him if he thought all those people in the villages who worshipped and did whatever other rituals that they considered religious.
The man then said to me, "Yes, I believe they are all wrong".
What the fuck is wrong with him? Is he so blinded about being righteous that he can't be open minded enough to think other cultures worship differently? The answers are yes.
I told him if he's not open minded to believe that then he's not worth my time.
Also, Jesus now plays hockey
Beware of the Jesusfist!
Jesus fisted me once...
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