I put the log in blog, niggers.: Prepare yourselves

June 05, 2004

Prepare yourselves

Oh my dear lord, I just heard something that put awe into my childlike brain. Tears came to my eyes, and I dropped to my knees, mouth agape. When I first heard, I thought to myself "oh my god, this is something I'm going to tell every person I ever meet for the rest of my life". That's how crazy this shit is. So, my sister Lindsay gets a job interview for dollar rent a car (a fairly nice job in Tahlequah, OK). So she really needs a job and shit, she even cancelled her Amarillo trip for my grandmother's 80th birthday. Anyways, it turns out she has to drug test. She smokes like 7 pounds a day.

Well, my mother tells me last night that Lindsay passed her drug test.

"no shit? did she use one of her bullshit remedies she's told me about"

"no, she had your father piss in a condom and she carried it in with her while tucked into her panties"

SHE KEPT MY FUCKING DADS PISS WARM WITH HER BODY WARMTH. My dad's funk was all rubbing up against my sisters labia, IN A CONDOM. Can you imagine how she felt when she first pressed the condom up against her skin. was it warm? was it cold? WAS IT WET?

These are things i don't want to ask. But its my dedication to journalism that keeps me seeking the answers.

Do you know for how long i've been trying to plan a scheme to somehow dupe my father out of a condom full of his own piss? Fucking fuck shit.

I think its a pivotal point in my life. There is just no going back after you've found out about the harmonious three way marriage of your father's piss, a condom, and your sisters need for clean urine.

I am who I am, partly because I came out of that man's penis.

Posted by EclectiC at June 5, 2004 05:23 PM

Comments

I'd make a comment about your latest blog entry, but that would involve reading it and that would be no bueno. So, instead, I'm going to pimp out my new blog: keyboardvomit.blogdrive.com. It's so good that you'll want to have sex with it repeatedly until it dies from taking the excessive blows from your nigger cock, and then you'll continue to have your way with its decaying orifices!

Posted by: Genevieve at June 7, 2004 12:21 AM

I hear if you drink lots of Kool-aid with a lot of that raw gelatin shit you use to make homeade jam with mixed in to it, you will pass your drug test and possibly any finals you have that week.

Seriously though, your whole family sounds like they're a few pancakes short of an international house.

Posted by: Big_Honkin_Cocks at June 7, 2004 06:11 PM

I would have to agree with big_honkin_cocks about your family. Having your mom try to talk an innocent little girl into buying a vibrator is pretty messed up. I can't go into Christy's without thinking about your mom then wanting to throw up.

Posted by: melissa at June 10, 2004 09:16 AM

I seriously laughd for 15 minutes. Danny. I love you. LOL

Posted by: Molly at June 11, 2004 12:44 PM

how the fuck did your dad's urine test negative?

Posted by: kenny at June 14, 2004 08:06 AM

Posted by: buy generic viagra at October 27, 2004 08:43 AM

Posted by: female health at October 27, 2004 10:31 PM

Posted by: loans for people with bad credit at November 5, 2004 03:23 PM