I put the log in blog, niggers.

A mistake along I-40

Interesting facts I�ve found out in the past week:
My mother drinks boxed wine out of a flask, on any drive over 200 miles.
There is a porn site called asstraffic.com
My cats nipples are swelling
I�m still able to shit and have it smell like baby poop
Josh �is not able to laugh and pee at the same time. One or the other.�
The dollar store is a dangerous place

Amarillo. It has this weird aura all of its own. It�s like an aura of apathy, which has enveloped the entire city. The sense of apathy is encouraged by the summer days which consist of the sun splashing a yellowy glow on every front porch, front lawn, and through windows all across the town.

It�s a town in the middle of nowhere. Just a dot in the middle of a landscape that consists of yellow grass, dry shrubs, and absolutely no variation in altitude.

Amarillo is Spanish for yellow. This fits well, because in A-town, it�s not uncommon to see very large patches of yellow dry grass. I�ve noticed this since I was 6 years old, and nobody really seems to care in Amarillo. �oh yea, the grass? yea, that happens here.�

The buildings all looked fairly old. I went to IHOP with my cousin Megan, and there was nowhere to park. So we pulled around back and parked in a mini mall parking area. I asked megan if anyone would care that we parked there. She said, in her Texas drawl
�Honey, we got land here. nobody cares.�

I was amazed the rest of the trip. It was true! They do have a lot of parking, everywhere! I�ll be a mother fucker!

I had the bad luck to run into some restaurants that looked like they tried too hard to pick an authentic atmosphere for their restaurants, so they unfortunately turned out to be fairly cheesy, and of so-so food. Well, my cousins and I decide to eat at a Mexican place called Ruby Tequilas. Sadly, we did not invite an aunt, or someone of the older family to come along, so we had to actually pay for ourselves. Well, we pass around a few pitchers of margaritas, and I get fairly drunk. I also gobbled this plate of food that involved a couple tamales, with beans, rice, all topped with cheese. Lastly, it was all covered with 2 eggs over easy. We�ll be revisiting the food later.

Skipping some uninteresting bullshit, 2 hours after eating, I end up really really stoned and sitting in the what-a-burger drive through for 20 minutes. Niggers are slow (subliminal nigger)
As we pull up to the window, I calmly open my door, lean out, and vomit up TWO AND A HALF FUCKING POUNDS of tex-mex in an arc of garbled food and stomach acid.

As I sat with chunks of gelatin-coated food slowly dripping from my face, admiring such a grand puddle of vomitus, an older couple walked by on their nightly walk. They gasped at the puddle of vomit with unholy terror in their eyes. I politely explained to them that a demon did not take over my body, and spew out ground up human corpse flesh out of my mouth. No, that did not happen. I just got a little sick and expulsed a 55 gallons of throw up in the drive through of a food establishment.

I wonder if I ruined any appetites by forcing Amarillo to drive through my Mexican throw up. I hope I did. Fuckers.

Posted by EclectiC at June 5, 2004 11:52 AM