Ken's Life

Street Cleaning

So, i was looking through Danny's shoebox of high school pics, and i discovered that it is a shrine to his stud-cockery. He had quite the collection of medals....and girlfriends. But i have no reason to be jealous. Those girls are great and all, but I'M the one who gets to do his laundry. That's right. When push comes to shove, I'M the one putting a load in...or vice versa. I get to sift through the rubble of his exploded laundry basket and unearth his underoos and easy-access shorts. So i feel fulfilled. The funniest thing happened today though, as i was filtering through his mountain of boxers. I unearthed something that looked suspiciously like a dead baby. Now i don't want to point fingers here. My guess is, he picked it up from the park behind his house and forgot to return it to its mother when he was done with it. The baby probably had it coming anyways, sitting there all unattended. That is the price you pay when you are too lazy to learn how to walk. The lazy little bastard was probably going to try to milk our government for welfare, the way it milked its mother's teat. So i give props to Danny. Thank you for ridding the free world of one more social leech. Hats (and underpants) off to you, Danny Ryan, American Patriot.